One of the greatest philosophers of the last hundred years, Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, taught us, “Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat.” It is clear to this observer that Katie McDermott sat under The Brain’s learning tree. In a friendly relay race at her daughter’s school, where moms and little girls competed together, McDermott did what she had to do to come out on top.
Critics call this appalling. No one who lives in a town that has its own mommy group on Facebook is surprised.
“I told my daughter I would be number one, so I had to be!”
McDermott didn’t know the other mom very well. But she could see that mom was winning. So, Katie nudged the other mommy, who took off in the air flopping like she was LeBron James. Katie didn’t know what possessed her to do it. “I was just thinking about how I wanted to win so badly!”
Hey, I get it. One year at my sister’s fifth birthday, I hip-checked her off a chair to win musical chairs. It was all on video. She cried, but I didn’t give a f*ck. I won!